Although most people think of the holidays as a time of merriment, joy, family reunions, and unforgettable memories, for some it can be very different.

In the seniors’ home where I work as a part-time chaplain, residents may remember past Christmases and feel regret or sadness. It may also be hard because they’ve lost so many things such as their independence, and many of their friends may have died. They are no longer physically capable of doing the things they did in their youth. Such physical losses include hearing, vision, and range of movement. I’ve noticed that memories in residents over 80 years of age start to dim.

Blue Christmas

We call this a Blue Christmas, and some churches and retirement homes offer special services by that name. It’s important to respect that not everyone will be a bundle of joy at Christmastime. It’s important to respect that sometimes the elderly (and not so elderly) may need a quiet space and time during this hectic, bustling season.

Although Black Friday and Amazon deals call, let’s remember that the spirit of the season is the reason for the season. A Blue Christmas may involve grieving. Grieving for the past, grieving for what no longer is, perhaps grieving for what could have been. While the true meaning of Christmas revolves around the birth of the savior of humanity and is celebrated with light, music, food, and merriment, we can easily forget that it can be difficult for some to feel this when they are down or blue.

Creating a supportive environment where those who feel blue can express their emotions and find solace is crucial. Simple gestures such as spending time with them, listening to their stories, or even just sitting in silence can provide immense comfort. Recognizing their feelings and offering a compassionate ear can make a world of difference.

Let’s also encourage activities that can bring a sense of joy and purpose to their lives. Whether it’s decorating their rooms, engaging in light-hearted crafts, or sharing a warm meal together, these moments can help bridge the gap between sorrow and joy. Remember, sometimes the best gift we can offer is our presence and understanding.

By acknowledging and addressing the feelings of those who find the holiday season challenging, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate community. This season, let’s strive to be mindful of everyone’s emotional needs and extend our kindness to those who need it most.

Wishing you a peaceful and meaningful holiday season.

Luba Rascheff is a part-time chaplain studying psychotherapy who obtained certification from the Transformation Academy as a Spiritual Life Coach. The name of her signature coaching program is Take it to the Next Level. Discover more here.

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